I was first drawn in by the sheer daftness of songs like The Man with the Black Moustache (‘Who’s that man? Who IS that man? It’s the man with the black moustache!'). Then there was RSVP, which was made up entirely of a stream of French phrases - 'Pas de deux, cordon bleu, quel dommage, à la plage' - maybe to mock pretentiousness, maybe just for the lolz. And not only was there a song called The Monochrome Set, but songs about each of the individual band members, including the excellently named guitarist Lester Square. But there was a was a lot more to them than mere larks.
They were unapologetically intellectual, with dark, sardonic songs about murderous regimes and the corrupt class system. But they also possessed pop nous in spades, with an unerring knack for uncanny hooks that belied the subject matter. Lead singer Bid - apparently descended from Indian royalty - wasn’t the most technically accomplished vocalist you’d ever heard but he got the point across well enough, in his deadpan way. Square’s guitar lines, meanwhile, were practically masterpieces in themselves.
They had formed in 1978, originating from the same band that spawned the first incarnation of Adam and the Ants. They came racing out the blocks; the stomping He’s Frank (which Norman Cook persuaded Iggy Pop, no less, to cover) was a doozy of a debut single, but even better was Eine Symphonie des Grauens, as dark, baffling yet tuneful a racket as you’re ever likely to hear. The early stuff was all edgy, angular art school post-punk - but with brilliant jokes. Later albums successfully broadened the musical palette without ever losing the spark.
They broke up once or twice over the years - check out this gem Bid released under the name The Raj Quartet - but it was never for long, and remarkably they’re still going strong and making fine music to this day. There’s never been another band quite like them.
The five
I’m not claiming these are their best five songs, just five I love in no particular order.
1. Espresso
I could have chosen almost any track from Strange Boutique, the extraordinary first album which packs more great songs into its first half an hour than most bands manage in a career. Love Goes Down the Drain, Martians Go Home and Goodbye Joe would all have been very worthy picks, but I’ve always had a particular yen for this breezy little tale of illness and death. ‘I left my blood in a plastic mug, I get a funny taste when I chug-a-lug’ sings Bid. The song chug-a-lugs, too, in the most winning way.
2. Avanti (Ten Don’ts for Honeymooners)
This bouncy 1981 single was chock full of practical advice for those about to tie the knot. Like: ‘Don't dance the polka in a dhoti and whistle the Rite of Spring, don't recite Hamlet's soliloquy while munching onion rings’. You know, just the obvious stuff really.
3. I’ll Scry Instead
The 1982 album Eligible Bachelors saw a move towards a (relatively) poppier sound. This song sees Bid set his sights on charlatan fortune tellers and the gullible people who reply to their newspaper adverts. Yeah, it’s that hackneyed old pop trope I’m afraid. It’s genuinely funny - ‘Dear Miss Rosa Lee, tell me my destiny. I enclose my vibes with a print of my palm, I'd like the full works, plus the box of assorted charms’ - and elevated by a truly swoonsome chorus.
4. White Lightning
The Monochrome Set often mined early rock’n’roll to great effect; this impeccable cut from 1990’s Dante’s Casino showed that they could master a psychedelic late 60s vibe just as effortlessly. White Lightning brings to mind of lots of things at once: the Byrds, the Monkees when they went off-script, REM’s King of Birds, and perhaps more than anything XTC’s alter-ego the Dukes of Stratosphear. And it’s great.
5. Jacob’s Ladder
Where it all started for me. This one leaves the snark at home: it’s a joyous paean to love and marriage that leaves you feeling like you’re covered in confetti.
Next time: who knows, we'll see if anyone likes this one first.
